Before relating a factual incident, I feel that a brief description of the parties involved would help in deciphering certain behaviour. Descriptions are based on general perceptions and are non-personal.
Zack: Infamous due to his uncouthness, 'shallow' thinking, and tendency to offense with words. Partly also due to his unkempt and horizontally-challenged appearance (in other words, a scruffy look.) Has a personality which is difficult for one to relate to.
Shawn: Well-mannered and amiable.
Leonard: Sociable, no distinct faults.
Zack: Infamous due to his uncouthness, 'shallow' thinking, and tendency to offense with words. Partly also due to his unkempt and horizontally-challenged appearance (in other words, a scruffy look.) Has a personality which is difficult for one to relate to.
Shawn: Well-mannered and amiable.
Leonard: Sociable, no distinct faults.
***All names are fictitious to avoid unintentional disclosure of identities.***
During a 5-membered project meeting while details on several proposals were discussed, Zack made a sudden comment about Shawn in front of other members.
"I think Shawn has a very bad character."
Stunned to hear this about Shawn, who is generally an amiable and well-mannered person, the other group members pursued him for an explanation towards the somewhat biased statement. With regards to their questioning, he bluntly and simply said: "Oh. Because I overheard him disagreeing with someone else over a small matter."
Shawn, though slightly taken aback, understands that Zack has a 'unique' character and has earned himself a less-than-desired reputation for his lack of EQ, made no attempt to retort. Afterall, they were in a project meeting and there were more important matters at hand. Hence the project discussion commenced and no one made further comments regarding the earlier episode.
Zack, perhaps dissatisfied at the unsuccessful attempt in creating a scene, found a second victim when he noticed Leonard typing away on the laptop.
"Leonard, what the F*CK did you bring your laptop to our meeting for?!"
Hearing this, Leonard immediately felt a rising surge of anger towards Zack's accusation and offensive use of language. At the same time, the other members went silent in disbelief. Though deeply infuriated, Leonard was able to resist a quick retort and instead replied: "Thankyou for your reminder. I will not use the laptop during future project discussions."
***
As undergraduates, we find ourselves working with different people of different characters, with dissimilar working styles and attitudes. This is especially so when we do not have the liberty to select our group project members as we wish.
Different expectations and lack of understanding tend to lead to conflicts and unhappiness, which may render a team non-functional if matters are not resolved.
The above scenario did not actually propagate into a real conflict, because several tactful players handled the situation well.
However, main problems still exist. How are they able to seek co-operation from a difficult member? If they could tolerate one occasion, would their patience last? Future conflicts are not altogether impossible.
Different expectations and lack of understanding tend to lead to conflicts and unhappiness, which may render a team non-functional if matters are not resolved.
The above scenario did not actually propagate into a real conflict, because several tactful players handled the situation well.
However, main problems still exist. How are they able to seek co-operation from a difficult member? If they could tolerate one occasion, would their patience last? Future conflicts are not altogether impossible.
2 comments:
Hello!
You are lucky to have two group project members (Shawn and Leonard) that have high EQ! If that scenario had really ended with a conflict, I think it would be extremely difficult for your group to get the project done. I agree that if Zack continue his ways, the other group project members’ patience will bound to run out one day. Thus before any major conflict arise, why not try to talk to Zack? During the next project meeting, the members can try to bring out this point to Zack in a nice way. For example, one can say, “we notice that your mood hasn’t been really good recently. Is there something wrong? Do you need any help? We will be more than happy to help.” Hopefully Zack can feel the concern from your group and start to control his behavior. However, if he refused to change, then your group can express in a polite way that you guys have been quite uncomfortable with Zack’s behavior and it is important than the group members work harmoniously for the benefit of the whole group. Some small actions like sharing snacks, helping each other out and smiling during project meetings may also help to lighten the mood a bit. Maybe Zack is stress with the group project and other academic stuff thus by creating a livelier and less tense up environment during project meetings can help Zack to relax a bit.
:)
Dear Stephany,
It is indeed frustrating when sometimes you are grouped with people who have very different backgrounds and expectations for a project. Misunderstandings do occur frequently under such circumstances.
In your case, however, I would put it down mainly to a lack of manners on Zack's part instead of the differences that arises due to varied backgrounds or expectations. While Zack has displayed all the DON'Ts, your other friends have shown a good example of handling minor irritable situations as such.
Ignoring such comments or making a firm retort can be very useful at times. It could be difficult but if your group tries harder to get to know Zack better then maybe you may understand the reasons behind Zack's inappropriate behaviour. If his behaviour becomes persistant, then engaging the help of a mediator in the form of your tutor may be of help. The key thing is to externalise the issue so that your project can be completed.
Although we hope to always work in harmony in these kind of groups, expecting ourselves to like everybody is impossible. As long as a certain level of professionalism and tolerance is abound, and the project is completed with fair division of workload, then everybody should be happy.
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