#2 Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Before relating a factual incident, I feel that a brief description of the parties involved would help in deciphering certain behaviour. Descriptions are based on general perceptions and are non-personal.


Zack: Infamous due to his uncouthness, 'shallow' thinking, and tendency to offense with words. Partly also due to his unkempt and horizontally-challenged appearance (in other words, a scruffy look.) Has a personality which is difficult for one to relate to.

Shawn: Well-mannered and amiable.

Leonard: Sociable, no distinct faults.

***All names are fictitious to avoid unintentional disclosure of identities.***

During a 5-membered project meeting while details on several proposals were discussed, Zack made a sudden comment about Shawn in front of other members.

"I think Shawn has a very bad character."

Stunned to hear this about Shawn, who is generally an amiable and well-mannered person, the other group members pursued him for an explanation towards the somewhat biased statement. With regards to their questioning, he bluntly and simply said: "Oh. Because I overheard him disagreeing with someone else over a small matter."

Shawn, though slightly taken aback, understands that Zack has a 'unique' character and has earned himself a less-than-desired reputation for his lack of EQ, made no attempt to retort. Afterall, they were in a project meeting and there were more important matters at hand. Hence the project discussion commenced and no one made further comments regarding the earlier episode.

Zack, perhaps dissatisfied at the unsuccessful attempt in creating a scene, found a second victim when he noticed Leonard typing away on the laptop.

"Leonard, what the F*CK did you bring your laptop to our meeting for?!"

Hearing this, Leonard immediately felt a rising surge of anger towards Zack's accusation and offensive use of language. At the same time, the other members went silent in disbelief. Though deeply infuriated, Leonard was able to resist a quick retort and instead replied: "Thankyou for your reminder. I will not use the laptop during future project discussions."

***

As undergraduates, we find ourselves working with different people of different characters, with dissimilar working styles and attitudes. This is especially so when we do not have the liberty to select our group project members as we wish.

Different expectations and lack of understanding tend to lead to conflicts and unhappiness, which may render a team non-functional if matters are not resolved.

The above scenario did not actually propagate into a real conflict, because several tactful players handled the situation well.

However, main problems still exist. How are they able to seek co-operation from a difficult member? If they could tolerate one occasion, would their patience last? Future conflicts are not altogether impossible.

#1 Effective Communication Skills

Not long ago I made a decision to become a teacher. A career the majority may not consider unless of cos they really have the passion. Myself I've signed an MOE contract bearing a 3-year bond. Hence my options are closed and my career path is set. So what's next?

Effective communication skills! It's crucial to be equipped with such skills to build good teacher-student relationships. The gist of conducting lessons is to be able to deliver concepts clearly across so students would understand. In addition, I could cater better to the different needs of students. For instance, it would be beneficial to constantly paraphrase and break down big words while with a class of PRC scholars. During a teaching stint, I met a student with obsessive-compulsive behaviour writing same sentences over and over again. In addressing similar situations, it is important to be a tactful speaker when handling out instructions to students.

Likewise, these skills are essential for fostering strong people-people relationships. My parents complained I'm seldom home and that when I'm home I do not make observable effort to communicate with family members, leading to a lack of understanding between us. Which is true. I'm impatient with my younger brother and am guilty of yelling at or ignoring his questions. Only 12 and hence understandably immature, curious, overly inquisitive (in my perspective) and irritating at times. Therefore hopefully all these would change after ES2007S.

Similarly, to build an effective social network we need good communication skills. These play a role in the delivery of a good first impression. When we come across as confident speakers to others around us, we leave a more lasting image. Being able to pick up non-verbal cues would allow us to be more sensitive towards the feelings of others, thereby avoiding conflicts and misunderstandings.

Overall, effective communication skills are beneficial to my building of relationships with others, both in personal and social settings.